Because every little thing gonna be alright….Who doesn’t love a good Bob Marley song? And this line is so true! I was prompted by a conversation with a friend, as well as the topic of Gabbi’s devotional today, to really think about how much time we spend worrying, especially about those things that are outside of our control. It is seriously one of by biggest downfalls. I worry about everything, constantly and occasionally irrationally. Don’t believe me? Any of you who know my husband should ask him about my irrational fear and worry of being in a car accident – it has actually caused marital arguments over driving skills! And he drives for a living!!
In all honesty, since becoming a mom, I probably spend 25% of my day finding something to be worried about, will Gabbi make it to the bus on time, will the girls take a nap, will Matt have a good day at work, is Gabbi having a good day at school, will Scarlet throw up, will dinner be on time, will the girls give me a hard time going to bed and so on…and these are just the little, daily things. There is always the worrying in the back of my mind about potential financial issues, what we would do in a crisis, and is Matt safe at work (seriously, his job scares the crap out of me, especially the overnights). When we talk about our future, I worry about having money to retire, eventually needing a bigger home when our kids are older, and the possibility of health issues as we age. You name it and I have probably spent time worrying about it. And today I began to worry that I worry too much. I had to really stop and ask myself, where does all this worrying come from? And then I realized, what it really boils down to is control.
I NEED to be in control, pretty much all the time, in order to feel safe. I have to ensure that things are in order and that I know how I will handle it if the begin to fall out of place so that we can quickly get back on track or I immediately begin to feel nervous. Need an example? Both my mother – in – law and mom witnessed me have a small breakdown last weekend, when I gathered the girls and ended our time together because I couldn’t keep the three of them in control. I grabbed them all, said goodbye and left the store we were shopping in because I felt as though my control as a mom was unraveling faster than I could get it back together and I couldn’t handle it. When I am in control, I am happy and when I can’t be in control I immediately begin to worry.
Today, the topic of Gabbi’s devotional was literally “Shake it off”….and it was all about not worrying about the things that we can’t control, because we have a God who is in control. The examples we came up with were things like “if so and so doesn’t want to play with you on the playground, don’t worry about it today”, or “ if you were embarrassed about forgetting it was your turn for show and tell last week, its over and don’t worry about it anymore.” (and yes, this REALLY happened already!! ugh!!). We prayed together for her to really focus on not worrying about things at school or on the bus today and then she went off to school. Once she left, I thought to myself, how can I sit here and tell her not to worry when I am constantly worrying all of the time??
Our kids will learn infinitely more from the things we do, than from the things we say. If I want my daughters to grow up leaning on Christ in everything and allowing Him to be their burden bearers, then I need to do the same. I need to do it all the time and I need to release my control. As I began to do this, naming things off one by one that I was going to stop worrying about, I began to feel lighter. I immediately knew that the Lord was going to help me through this and in trying to set a good example for my daughter, I started to end up in a much better place myself. Isn’t it so wonderful how the Lord uses all things and situations to draw us closer to Him? That He uses our desire for our children to become our desire for ourselves as well? I know that I will still struggle with worry from time to time, but I am so thankful for a God who is there through every struggle, all the time.
What do you worry about? Are there things that you need to take to the Lord today and ask Him to carry for you? I encourage you today to take a look at what it is that you feel the need to worry about and really take the time to ask the Lord for help. He loves us and wants to help us!
In household news….we got new appliances!! Yay!! I don’t have a picture of them installed yet , but I promise to put one up soon!! I am so excited about getting new appliances for the first time in my life! We got a FANTASTIC deal and ended up with things that I had assumed we would never be able to afford! I just keep looking at my kitchen and smiling, they look so pretty . And it’s a good thing we decided to just buy a new stove Tuesday, because this morning while making breakfast, the oven door literally broke! Can you believe the timing!!??
School so far for Gabbi has been going pretty good. She is still struggling with being tired and often asks to be driven instead of riding the bus (which I do about half the time…). She came home today telling me that she in love with Justin Bieber, which is basically my worst nightmare, but I am pretty sure its harmless so I’ll play along….
I mean he is cute, but I don’t get why all the little girls are so obsessed with him!! Someone at school showed Gabbi how to put her first name with his last name, and she wrote “Gabbi Bieber” all over the book club papers she brought home!! Hopefully this little crush passes quickly…
We went on a weekend camping trip to Darien Lake again, only this time with my dad and all of my siblings. Ill post a few pictures of that in a later post as well. It rained miserably most of the time, but we still had a lot of fun! Other than that our life has been pretty uneventful!
I have to run because Matt is getting up to go to work….ugh these overnights really stink I really can’t wait until we don’t have to deal with them anymore and my husband can be home at night…