Gosh…church was great this morning. It normally is, and I love listening to our pastor teach us and instill in us some more wisdom and knowledge, but the last few weeks the teachings have been hitting me hard. Today was no exception…
Only it wasn’t the whole sermon that really convicted me (though the topic was definitely something I really needed to hear), but it was one simple statement that my pastor made that really got me to start thinking.
“Live in the now…with contentment”…
Whoa – I struggle daily to “live in the now”, and the now is going by so fast. I posted not to long ago about needing to slow down, but you know…life gets in the way of even our best intentions sometimes and needless to say, I have not really slowed down much.
I am an anxiety ridden mom who is CONSTANTLY thinking about what is going to come next. Even when I am actively trying to enjoy the moment, half the time I am worried about getting enough pictures, or what time the next event on our agenda is.
And that’s just the little stuff – I lay awake at night worrying about the future on more occasions than I should admit to. Have I spent time panicking about who will teach the girls to drive and how we are going to afford college and weddings for 4 girls? Yea – a lot.
We are in a never ending cycle of trying to enjoy today, while planning and worrying about tomorrow, next week and next year.
But to enjoy the now with contentment?
I don’t think that I have even taken the time to judge whether or not I am content. I don’t feel as though I am not content, but our lives have been like a train moving at bullet speed to the next major life event. History would show that I have not allowed myself to really be content with where life is at each moment, because I am constantly looking to the next thing….
We “need” more money, a bigger house, better jobs, more time, less stress, to be smarter, wiser, better stewards of what is given to us, to be thinner, healthier and to make better decisions….
The list goes on and on….
But it stops (or attempts to stop) today.
Because I don’t want to live my life in a constant state of worry about what is coming next. Or what isn’t coming next…..
I want to really enjoy this time at home with my girls in their earliest years of life…
and if its stressful, exhausting and crazy – I want to enjoy that too….
because it will all change so quickly, and even if I get those things or those places in life that I spend so much of my energy thinking about now, none of it will mean as much as thoroughly and contently enjoying this season that my life is in now.
I so often hear, and say, that mothering in the early years is like mothering in the trenches – and that there are days when we are just trying to survive.
I don’t want to just survive it anymore. I want to live in it, enjoy it, love it (or most of it) and just be content with where I am at.
Because this is life that I was made for, and I am so thankful for this crazy, beautiful, wonderful mess of a life that it is.
And how could you not wake up to these gorgeous faces every morning and be filled with anything else but joy…
What areas of life do you need to find contentment in?