I am finally back from my writing hiatus and I am so glad to start writing regularly again. Everyone has been so supportive and so understanding during this past season of our life and I couldn’t be anymore thankful for the people that God has put into my life that have been there holding us up for the past 8 months.
I am a little cautious….
But I am happy to announce that I finally believe that we are heading into a new season as a family. Postpartum anxiety and depression, all though not completely behind us, is definitely under my control and no longer takes over as leader of our home. While I seem to be suffering from a bit of PTSD as a result of everything that I went through, I have been working diligently, both through scripture and prayer as well as with a counselor to allow myself the time to truly heal from this whole experience. Am I still anxious occasionally when I shouldn’t be? Yes. Do I still have small angry outbursts when I get completely overwhelmed? Yes, but not very often. Do I still breakdown in tears at times when I think of all that we have been through as a family this year? Yes. And yes, I still of have to talk my own brain out of those incredibly awful intrusive thoughts at times, but I can make them stop and that is wonderful.
On the flip side of everything, I am coming to realize the amount of growing as a person, both spiritually and mentally that I have done during this season. My fear level has gone down incredibly, and my sense of confidence in myself and what I can handle has skyrocketed. I am enjoying so much this new found closeness I feel to the Lord and I once again look forward to getting up before my family every day to spend time alone with Him. I am willing to step outside of my comfort zone now to minister to people when the spirit encourages me to and to see and feel the Lord weaving together opportunities for future ministry is marvelous. I have so many things coming up on the horizon that I can hardly wait to see what is going to come next!
And most importantly, my passion for caring for my family has been reignited. For the longest time through all of this, I felt worthless and began searching for things that I could do outside the home and outside my family that would make me more valuable. Thank goodness that the Lord kept all of the doors closed for me because I am at peace now knowing that I am exactly where I should be. There is nothing in this world that could fulfill me more than being with and raising my children as well as taking care of my home.
We have already had so much fun this summer and I am looking forward to the month of August for some more fantastic adventures. Since I am SO BEHIND on posting pictures of our activities on here, I am going to bombard you now with loads of pictures of my incredibly gorgeous girls and all of the fun that they have been having!
Our first big post vacation summer event was 4th of July. The girls always have a blast swimming, roasting marshmallows, playing on the beach and of course watching the fireworks and massive bonfires! A BIG excitement this year though was that Matt was able to spend 4th of July with us for the 1st time in 3 years! So that made this year extra special ….
The rest of July was filled with trips to parks, the zoo and Genesee Country Village and Museum (we got a membership this year!!!). We have been so blessed to be able to spend so much time this summer with the people that we love the most!
A minor family emergency caused us to skip our family pictures at Letchworth, but an impromptu trip to sunken gardens gave us some pretty cute shots of the girls anyways! And a little unplanned adventure in Warsaw added a new little girl to our family….
And at the end of the month Matt and I even managed to slip away (thanks to some wonderful family and friends!!) for 2 whole nights alone! We retreated into a beautiful house in the woods and it was amazing! I hate to admit it, but coming home has been just a tiny bit difficult. I was always nervous about leaving the kids for that long, but I am so glad that I did and look forward to hopefully making it an annual thing.
So that’s a little catch up on what we have been up to. August brings the promise of even more fun with trips to the beach, some amusement parks and even a Little House on the Prairie Day! 2014 has proven to be the most difficult of my life up to this point, but it is looking like the rest of it is going to turn out even better than I imagined. Thank you all again for your continued support and I am so happy to be back to writing. Its one thing that truly makes me feel like myself again.
This kid cracks me up all the time!