In this past season I am starting to realize more and more that homemaking isn’t just about cooking and cleaning. In the deepest depths of PPD I lost all passion and desire to take care of our home, and our family. I didn’t care whether we ate fast food or home cooked food, whether the laundry was done or not and I never vacuumed. I made sure the kids were safe, fed and mostly happy, but it wasn’t a season of disciplining, instructing or teaching. And as far as my husband went, he was picking up all of my slack AND balancing a stressful job, leaving very little time to nurture our marriage. It wasn’t a season of living joyously, it was a season of surviving.
When I started to climb out of the hole I was in, I could see everything around me that I should be doing, and I did it as much as I could, but for a long time my heart and passion for caring for my family had disappeared, and in its place this vocation of homemaking left me feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, under appreciated and valueless. At that point I had even contemplated going back to work full time, thinking that everyone would be better off with someone else caring for the kids and the home most of the time.
But slowly, mostly over the past 2 months, God has begun to reignite my passion for my role of homemaker for this family, and it’s a different kind of passion that I have ever felt before. This time, the value isn’t found it what the house looks like at the end of the day, or whether everyone was happy all the time (both things that left me feeling like a failure pretty regularly). This time, I am trying to find out what it truly means to be a homemaker by calling, knowing that even when I am not feeling valued, or everyone isn’t always happy, that all my actions in taking care of my home are good and pleasing to Him, and that’s what truly matters.
And that is what I want to teach my girls. In a conversation with my husband recently, we brought up what the girls might be like when they get older. I was talking about how I wished for them to be God fearing, hardworking, loving, passionate, caring women who lived joyfully whether they chose a career outside the home, or chose to take care of their families full time. When I began to think about the characteristics that I wanted them to possess in their adult life, I was brought back to a topic I had read about, and realized that I can’t give them anything that I don’t possess myself.
And so, I am launching myself on a journey, one of learning, growing and maturing into a more intentional homemaker.
I have some lofty goals to achieve this year, and every Wednesday I will recap the different things that I am working on at that time, as well as how it is going and what works and doesn’t for our family. I have prayed over and over again for one source of instruction on being a mom, like a manual that would just fall down from heaven into my lap and tell me what to do. But, the Lord keeps reminding me that its not that easy. I need to embrace the fact that the culture of every single family is different, so I will spend this year finding exactly what works for us – and you guys will all benefit from the trial and error!
So what kind of topics can you expect?
-Kids Bible teaching methods
-cleaning, organizing and decluttering methods and discussions
-disciplining and training
-marriage roles and my attempt at becoming a better wife to my husband
-my many mistakes that are bound to happen
and prayer, lots and lots of prayer.
And I hope that you more seasoned moms who are out there reading will take on the role of my Titus 2 mentors and leave suggestions, comments or even just recaps of your years of parenting littles so that all of the younger mamas out there reading can benefit from your years of wisdom.
If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, books that would be helpful, or know of any blogs that would be excellent to read or link up with, let me know that as well!!
Thanks for joining me on this journey!
Stay tuned for the first official post next Wednesday!!